Rants – David Hughes

15 September 2005

How Many Blades Do You Need?

I’ve just read about Gillette’s new razor the ‘Fusion’ – this thing has five blades PLUS a sixth blade on the rear for ‘precision trimming’.

For Pete’s sake how many blades do you need? Well I’ll tell you. One.

When I started shaving as a teenager I hated it; I had terrible razor rash, and suffered the whole day with a sore face. The problem was I really had no idea how to shave. I eventually gave in and grew a kinda beard; looking back on old photographs this was a mistake.

A year or so later I was in the Body Shop buying something or other, and found a small leaflet that changed everything. I can’t remember what it was called, but it should have been called Shaving For Dummies. I quickly read it, and thought ahhhh so that’s how you do it. Pretty much everything I’d be doing was wrong.

I went and bought a razor and shaving cream and have never looked back.

Being the compulsive obsessive gadget freak I am I have tried many different razors, gels, soaps, creams and oils and over time have found that the simpler the product the better the result. This is why I find the new multi-blade razors so amusing.

I’m now shaving with what can only be described as retro equipment.

I use a traditional shaving brush and shaving cream; my brand of choice is George Trumper, I’m currently using the sandalwood which is marvellous. The recipe hasn’t changed since King Edward was on the thrown and it is amazing. You need just to dip the end of your brush’s bristles in the cream and you will have more lather than you can use.

Then I use a Merkur Razor – yep that’s right a safety razor like your Dad or your Grandad used albeit a very nice modern take on a classic design.

You’ll notice that this razor has only one blade in contact with your face at a time but you know what… I have never had a more comfortable or closer shave in my life.

The secret to a good shave is water and warmth.

Shave after your morning shower or bath as this will help make your beard softer and easier to shave.
Use a brush as this helps work the shaving cream into your beard and most importantly lifts the hairs from your skin making them even easier to shave.
Use a sharp blade. Use as many as you wish but you have to try a classic safety razor.
Rinse with cold water to close the pores.
Use an after shave balm or cream DO NOT use aftershave unless you want to undo all your hard work.

Most importantly – enjoy.

23 August 2005

Things Ain’t What They Used to Be

I was beginning to wonder if I was just unlucky or fussy or both as almost everything I buy these days seems to be faulty when I get it home or goes wrong quickly; I’m pleased to see that I am not alone.

I mentioned this to a friend after his second Apple Powerbook power supply failed within days of buying the Powerbook and he’s beaten me to posting about it.
Looking at what’s gone wrong recently it seem that spending money and buying brands no longer guarantees that something will work or last:

iMac – first one had a noisy PSU fan
Mont Blanc fountain pen – has been for repair three times in less than 12 months
Baby’s cot mobile – on/off switch did not work
Mamas and Papas push chair – faulty rain cover and missing parts
iPod Photo – headphone socket failed
2 Powerbook power supplies

To name just a few.

Reading my list you do have to wonder about the quality of Apple hardware…

7 June 2004

Lost Wallet = Stolen Cash

I had lunch today with a friend that works within the rail industry and used to work for the London Underground.

I was telling about my lost wallet stolen cash situation and it seems that is very common amongst pick pockets.

At one station he managed they had a set of doors that were not used but had a small gap at the top; once a year they were opened to be checked and when they were hundreds of dumped wallets were found behind. All complete with cards or travellers cheques but minus money.

Perversely, I wouldn’t have minded as much if my wallet had been stolen but it was found by a member of Virgin Trains staff.

27 May 2004

Yes I lost My Wallet…

But why does that make it OK to steal my cash?

Last night I got a late train back from London following a business dinner. Having been to a “posh” restaurant I was still hungry so bought a beer and a sandwich on the train. Unfortunately I didn’t put my wallet back into my pocket properly or in trying to get comfy on the train I managed to push it up out of my rear trouser pocket.

Anyway, I get off at my station and on the way to the taxi realise it’s gone. Luckily I had enough change for my cab so I didn’t have to disturb my family.

I got home at 0030 and phoned the train company to see if I could get somebody to check for my wallet. I held at position 1 in the queue for 20 minutes and then gave up. Do you think they actually have anybody taking calls at that time of night? Would I have been number 1 until 9am the next morning? If they don’t take calls that late at night then switch the damn queue off.

However calling my banks and American Express was much better – all my cards were cancelled within 10 minutes.

I was called this morning by Wolverhampton railway station to tell me that my wallet had been handed in. All the cards were there but not the cash.

Why is it acceptable to take the cash? The cards I can replace but not the cash.

To be honest I wasn’t that worried about the cards or even the cash really; the thing I was most upset about losing were the photos of my daughter so I’ll be very pleased to get those back.

24 November 2003

Does Nobody Care About Service Anymore?

I called my local cinema yesterday (part of a major chain) to book tickets for a show that night. Up until now when you called to book tickets the phone was answered by a person who quickly took my booking and I could then collect my tickets from a machine in the cinema foyer.

Not anymore…

Now they have a voice activated system. I talk to machine and the machine recognises what I am saying – at least that’s the theory. As anybody that has used speech recognition software can tell you it’s a bit hit and miss so I was impressed when it recognised the name of my cinema; however that was the last thing it recognised. I tried several times and then gave up, my wife then tried assuming that my highly irritated tone of voice was affecting it but it couldn’t recognise what she was saying either.

To make things worse there was no way to just get through to an operator without using this cursed system. End result we couldn’t book tickets.

To add insult to injury the phone number is now a premium rate phone number so it probably cost me an unreasonable amount to NOT book tickets for a film.

Why have they done this? Well one has to assume to remove the cost of a person answering the phone. Surely they can’t be So cash strapped that one head per cinema will break them? I doubt it. It’s just to screw the last penny out of customers to HELL with any semblance of good service.

It’s now impossible for me to book tickets in advance; which makes it much less likely that I will go to the cinema especially after having turned up to watch Kill Bill only to find they had taken it off 2 days early.

I will be complaining to the cinema chain – assuming their is an address on their website of course…

29 October 2003

What Has Happened to Coffee?

I love the fact that there are coffee shops on every high street in the UK now and that we can at last buy a decent cup of coffee wherever we are.

I stopped to buy an Americano on the way in this morning and overheard the person in front of me ordering a decaf soya latte.

A decaf soya latte? So that’s a very milky coffee made without milk and using coffee without caffeine. Doesn’t that kind of defeat the object?

If you don’t like caffeine or milk then maybe a latte isn’t the drink for you…