More great lines from Steven Wright.

“I installed a skylight in my apartment… The people who live above me are furious!”

“I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.”

“If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?”

“All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.”

“I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.”

“I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it. ”

“How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?”

You really need to be able to hear these in Steven’s incredibly dry, slow monotone delivery…